Let Kids Suggest Their Own Chores: Family Meeting 2.0

What happens when you flip the allowance question on its head and let your child suggest what they want to do to earn it? Research on self-determination shows that we follow through on tasks we chose ourselves far more often than tasks we were simply assigned. Family Meeting 2.0 is about exactly this: letting kids suggest their own chores, but with a clear parent filter that keeps control where it belongs.

In short: When a child proposes a task and its price, they feel ownership of the job. They don't stop following the rules; they actually start believing in them. A family app like Kroni keeps track of who promised what, and what it's worth.

Kids suggesting their own chores: what does the research say?

In the 1980s, psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan developed Self-Determination Theory. Its core idea is that people, including children, are more motivated when they experience autonomy, competence and belonging in what they do.

Translated to dishes and taking out the trash, that means: a child who said "I'll take out the trash every Tuesday for $1.50" is far more likely to actually take out the trash than a child who was told to on Monday morning.

It's not about the child "owning" the house. It's about the child seeing themselves as a participant, not a servant.

What is Family Meeting 2.0?

Many families hold weekly meetings to plan the weekend or talk about rules. Family Meeting 2.0 is a deliberate extension of that: you invite your child into the task-setting and pricing process itself.

The model looks like this:

1. Your child suggests tasks they want to take responsibility for, and what they think they're worth
2. Parent filter: you approve, adjust or decline the suggestions
3. You agree on a "contract" for the period
4. Your child completes the task, you approve, and the virtual balance goes up in the app

Final say always rests with you. It's not negotiation. It's guided participation.

How to run a family meeting: step by step

Step 1: Set the boundaries in advance

Before inviting suggestions, decide two things: which tasks are always expected without pay (tidying their room, clearing their plate), and which can earn balance because they go beyond the minimum contribution.

This distinction is essential. Without it, you quickly end up with a 9-year-old demanding $5 for brushing their teeth.

Step 2: Let your child suggest freely within the boundaries

Give your child five minutes and a blank sheet of paper. The assignment is: "Write down three things you want to be responsible for at home for three weeks, and what you think each one is worth."

Don't interrupt. Don't correct. Let their imagination run. You'll have the parent filter ready afterwards.

Step 3: Apply the parent filter calmly and concretely

Go through the list together. For each suggestion: approve, adjust the price, or explain simply why it doesn't fit. Try not to spend more than two minutes per item.

A concrete example: your child suggests "vacuum the whole house: $20." You reply: "I'll set that at $4 for the living room, that's about what the job is worth." Done.

Step 4: Keep it organized with a family app

Verbal agreements are forgotten fast. A family allowance app like Kroni makes it easy: you enter the task, set the price, and your child checks it off on their side when the job is done. You approve, and the virtual balance goes up.

The learning loop becomes clear to your child: effort leads to approval, which builds a balance, which brings them closer to the goal they chose themselves.

Pricing: what happens when your child gets it wrong?

There are two common outcomes when a child prices their own chores.

Your child suggests too high a price

This is a great learning moment. Ask calmly: "What do you think I'm going to say?" Most kids know perfectly well that $15 for five minutes of work is a stretch. Saying it out loud and being corrected kindly is far better than never learning to calibrate your own expectations.

Your child suggests too low a price

This happens surprisingly often, especially with kids around 6 to 8. They just want to help. Here you can say: "That's actually worth a bit more than that. I'll set it at $2, because it takes time and you do it properly."

Then your child learns that their own work has value. It's one of the most underrated money lessons there is.

Three reasons the model works well in Scandinavia

Scandinavian parenting has long focused on participation, equality and the child's voice. Family Meeting 2.0 fits naturally into that tradition, and it travels well:

• Democratic family culture: We're used to asking kids what they think. Now we use it actively in everyday finances.
• Trust over control: The model assumes a child can take responsibility when given the chance, rather than needing to be controlled into it.
• Openness about money: Kids who grow up hearing money discussed at home don't find it strange to put a price on work. It's natural.

Common questions about kids suggesting their own chores

What if my child only suggests easy chores?

That's completely normal at first. Let it run for a round or two. Most kids start stretching a little further once they see that bigger jobs earn a bigger balance. You can also say: "Next round, try suggesting something you've never done before."

Does Family Meeting 2.0 work for kids as young as 6?

Yes, but simplified. A 6-year-old needs pictures and simple choices rather than a blank sheet and free pricing. Ask: "Do you want to wipe the table or put the shoes away?" It's still a choice. It's still the child suggesting.

What if my child keeps skipping the chores they suggested themselves?

First time: give a friendly reminder. Second time: let natural consequences take over. No approval means no balance. Don't punish. The balance says what needs to be said.

Try Family Meeting 2.0 this weekend

The easiest place to start is to enter the first two tasks your child suggests themselves. You spend five minutes on setup. The system does the rest. The free plan works well for families with one child and up to five active tasks, and the Family plan comes with a 7-day free trial.